Friday, March 26, 2004
sleep is good.
last night, i took a hot shower, jumped into bed and don't know what hit me until i woke up many hours later. sleep is such a great thing... and something i've gotten pretty used to living without. i get my "rush" from working out more than anything else, but after sleeping for 11 hours last night, i realized that maybe sleep is something i should invest in more often.
i've heard somewhere that dreams helps us to process things that we don't have time to process during the day. well... so much has been going on in my life and my mind lately that i haven't really had time to deal with, and so much that even if i had time to deal with, i wouldn't know what to do with it. so this week, i've been sleeping a lot. A LOT. and last night, was the culmination of the a lot.
i don't really even think i'm using sleep as escapism. its almost a form of waiting. sometimes, things just happen, and there's nothing you can do about it. angst build because you want things fixed... but sleep serves almost as a sort of novacaine. nothing really changes, but it often times provides a much needed breather that helps in regaining perspective. its like *take in deep breath* air somewhere out in nature. refreshing. when you're there, nothing is really as bad as it seems. that's usually the high i get from running a lot. and i haven't been running a lot lately. mmm... there's a thought. some people use prozac. maybe running and sleeping excessively could be a non-medical alternative.
*yawn*
maybe i should go home and try to get some more...
(0) comments
last night, i took a hot shower, jumped into bed and don't know what hit me until i woke up many hours later. sleep is such a great thing... and something i've gotten pretty used to living without. i get my "rush" from working out more than anything else, but after sleeping for 11 hours last night, i realized that maybe sleep is something i should invest in more often.
i've heard somewhere that dreams helps us to process things that we don't have time to process during the day. well... so much has been going on in my life and my mind lately that i haven't really had time to deal with, and so much that even if i had time to deal with, i wouldn't know what to do with it. so this week, i've been sleeping a lot. A LOT. and last night, was the culmination of the a lot.
i don't really even think i'm using sleep as escapism. its almost a form of waiting. sometimes, things just happen, and there's nothing you can do about it. angst build because you want things fixed... but sleep serves almost as a sort of novacaine. nothing really changes, but it often times provides a much needed breather that helps in regaining perspective. its like *take in deep breath* air somewhere out in nature. refreshing. when you're there, nothing is really as bad as it seems. that's usually the high i get from running a lot. and i haven't been running a lot lately. mmm... there's a thought. some people use prozac. maybe running and sleeping excessively could be a non-medical alternative.
*yawn*
maybe i should go home and try to get some more...
(0) comments
Thursday, March 25, 2004
twice duped
uttered in haste
i should have known better
this time around
than to believe
in words, late spoken
when everything warned
to take most care.
uttered in ernest
you tell her you love me
fighting words
intended to sting
were it truth
and not mere weapons
actions would reflect
don't say i love you
and not follow through
words are cheap.
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uttered in haste
i should have known better
this time around
than to believe
in words, late spoken
when everything warned
to take most care.
uttered in ernest
you tell her you love me
fighting words
intended to sting
were it truth
and not mere weapons
actions would reflect
don't say i love you
and not follow through
words are cheap.
(0) comments
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
life is interesting, to be certain... and so is timing. timing and perspective. both serve to somehow color reality.
there are times when it seems serendipitious for things to happen as they have... and believed that it has happened as it ought. and if i remain in that perspective, all is well. but then, you look back at the same situation and you see that it could be seen from a different perspective, and that perspective is a bit less "glorious."
i think a few posts ago, i've discovered and confessed of being an "attention junkie." its an odd thing because if you know me, i'm not the type to be in the center of attention in all situations (like my roommate tends to be). i think i just need to know that i am the center of a few people's attention, and that's good enough for me. for the last month or so, i have felt like i've been the center of someone's attention and all of a sudden, it seems, has been taken away almost serendipitiously. at first, with the timing of events, it seemed almost as if it were fate of some sort, but as i reconsider the situation, it almost seems as if i was no longer the center of attention because another "project" has superceded this one. it doesn't feel so good to feel reduced to a mere project.
but. that's how i feel at the moment. and it sucks. and distance makes it so that communication is almost impossible. yeah... maybe its something that i just have to let go and forget altogether.
(0) comments
there are times when it seems serendipitious for things to happen as they have... and believed that it has happened as it ought. and if i remain in that perspective, all is well. but then, you look back at the same situation and you see that it could be seen from a different perspective, and that perspective is a bit less "glorious."
i think a few posts ago, i've discovered and confessed of being an "attention junkie." its an odd thing because if you know me, i'm not the type to be in the center of attention in all situations (like my roommate tends to be). i think i just need to know that i am the center of a few people's attention, and that's good enough for me. for the last month or so, i have felt like i've been the center of someone's attention and all of a sudden, it seems, has been taken away almost serendipitiously. at first, with the timing of events, it seemed almost as if it were fate of some sort, but as i reconsider the situation, it almost seems as if i was no longer the center of attention because another "project" has superceded this one. it doesn't feel so good to feel reduced to a mere project.
but. that's how i feel at the moment. and it sucks. and distance makes it so that communication is almost impossible. yeah... maybe its something that i just have to let go and forget altogether.
(0) comments
Monday, March 22, 2004
"... it is good that you grasp one thing and also not let go of the other; for the one who fears God comes forth with both of them..." eccl 7:18
i was having a discussion with a friend today that made me think of this verse. oh, how presuppositions inevitably color our interpretation. the part of the verse i focused on was the idea of "grasping one thing and also not letting go of the other..." the part that my friend emphasized was "the one who fears God comes forth with both of them."
the verse came to mind today during the discussion of presuppositions... and it also made me think of a prior conversation i had with a friend with whom i've served with in the college ministry this past weekend. i thought him to be ultra-conservative and assumed that he would entirely dismiss and depricate the ideas of postmodernism, but instead, he saw that there are positive benefits of it in the practical application of the hermeneutics of humility. the thing that was refreshing was that he is totally orthodox -- sometimes to a point where i seem him as intolerant. but the conversation proved him to be mature beyond his years (and mature beyond my preconcieved ideas of him based on my previous interactions with him).
then this morning's conversation caused me to think how important it is to hold ideas in tension, but my friends focus on the part of the verse about the fear of God really made me see things differently. how often have i desired to pursue wisdom and understanding apart from the fear of the Lord? sunday's message about living for the glory of God was such a pointed reminder to me that i cannot forget the end for which i live. the means is definitely something that cannot be neglected -- after all, there are many verses about God's judgements that is based on our actions. but what are "actions" apart from the motivation to please and glorify God and the power derived from an active reliance on Him? in selfishness, i think my actual theology as of late has been practical atheism, and that is frightening. does that mean i accept my "practical theology" to change my "state theology," or do i realize my humanity and ask for strength to get my practical theology to match my actual theology?
(0) comments
i was having a discussion with a friend today that made me think of this verse. oh, how presuppositions inevitably color our interpretation. the part of the verse i focused on was the idea of "grasping one thing and also not letting go of the other..." the part that my friend emphasized was "the one who fears God comes forth with both of them."
the verse came to mind today during the discussion of presuppositions... and it also made me think of a prior conversation i had with a friend with whom i've served with in the college ministry this past weekend. i thought him to be ultra-conservative and assumed that he would entirely dismiss and depricate the ideas of postmodernism, but instead, he saw that there are positive benefits of it in the practical application of the hermeneutics of humility. the thing that was refreshing was that he is totally orthodox -- sometimes to a point where i seem him as intolerant. but the conversation proved him to be mature beyond his years (and mature beyond my preconcieved ideas of him based on my previous interactions with him).
then this morning's conversation caused me to think how important it is to hold ideas in tension, but my friends focus on the part of the verse about the fear of God really made me see things differently. how often have i desired to pursue wisdom and understanding apart from the fear of the Lord? sunday's message about living for the glory of God was such a pointed reminder to me that i cannot forget the end for which i live. the means is definitely something that cannot be neglected -- after all, there are many verses about God's judgements that is based on our actions. but what are "actions" apart from the motivation to please and glorify God and the power derived from an active reliance on Him? in selfishness, i think my actual theology as of late has been practical atheism, and that is frightening. does that mean i accept my "practical theology" to change my "state theology," or do i realize my humanity and ask for strength to get my practical theology to match my actual theology?
(0) comments
