Friday, May 06, 2005
this song's been in my head recently...
Love's as Strong (Song of Songs 8:6-7)
When love has got you in its throes
Even the summer's heat just freezes your soul.
And the sweetest song - it just clanks along,
And the morning dew just says goodnight, and leaves your heart undone.
It doesn't do to try and understand.
Nothin' that's as good as love ever made a lot of sense.
Like how the eagles fly and how the rattlers slide
And what it is that comes to bind a woman and her man.
Love's as strong as death my love.
Unyielding as the grave.
Relentless as the desert sun.
And rivers cannot wash my love away.
Lord, I won't let it wash away.
And many waters cannot quench love.
There ain't nothing left to soothe you with.
Love has marked your soul the way the sun has marked your skin.
And there ain't no way to find no shade
When your soul's the very thing that feeds the blaze that burns within
It just makes your cold heart melt.
The flames that burn as white as the very flames of hell.
So just hold on tight, 'Cause it's a long, wild ride
When you finally find the grace to love another as yourself.
Love's as strong as death my love.
Unyielding as the grave.
Relentless as the desert sun.
And rivers cannot wash my love away, away!
I won't let it wash away.
And many waters, it cannot quench love.
Copyright 1996 - Kid Brothers of St. Frank
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Love's as Strong (Song of Songs 8:6-7)
When love has got you in its throes
Even the summer's heat just freezes your soul.
And the sweetest song - it just clanks along,
And the morning dew just says goodnight, and leaves your heart undone.
It doesn't do to try and understand.
Nothin' that's as good as love ever made a lot of sense.
Like how the eagles fly and how the rattlers slide
And what it is that comes to bind a woman and her man.
Love's as strong as death my love.
Unyielding as the grave.
Relentless as the desert sun.
And rivers cannot wash my love away.
Lord, I won't let it wash away.
And many waters cannot quench love.
There ain't nothing left to soothe you with.
Love has marked your soul the way the sun has marked your skin.
And there ain't no way to find no shade
When your soul's the very thing that feeds the blaze that burns within
It just makes your cold heart melt.
The flames that burn as white as the very flames of hell.
So just hold on tight, 'Cause it's a long, wild ride
When you finally find the grace to love another as yourself.
Love's as strong as death my love.
Unyielding as the grave.
Relentless as the desert sun.
And rivers cannot wash my love away, away!
I won't let it wash away.
And many waters, it cannot quench love.
Copyright 1996 - Kid Brothers of St. Frank
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seems like sense has returned... thank the Word
God is so gracious to me. He really doesn't have to answer as quickly as He does, but He did. no no... not in settling the "status" with the boy (although that would be nice), but simply helping me to regain my sanity regarding the boy. Scripture is amazingly poignant and healing in this matter. passages that i had memorized in the past or know of came to rebuke, correct and exhort me.
its amazing how the Holy Spirit can bring to mind Scripture and knit it together to just work your heart over. these were the verses God used on my heart this week:
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God is so gracious to me. He really doesn't have to answer as quickly as He does, but He did. no no... not in settling the "status" with the boy (although that would be nice), but simply helping me to regain my sanity regarding the boy. Scripture is amazingly poignant and healing in this matter. passages that i had memorized in the past or know of came to rebuke, correct and exhort me.
its amazing how the Holy Spirit can bring to mind Scripture and knit it together to just work your heart over. these were the verses God used on my heart this week:
- "above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life" prov 4:23. the nasb uses the phrase "watch over your heart with all dilligence." this reminded me of the importance of guarding my emotions. but really, what does that mean? i remember i blogged previously concerning this idea. is it to put up walls? i remember concluding that no, it is in "trusting the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding." so entrusting the Lord with my heart... but what else?
- "little children, guard your heart from idols" 1 john 5:21. i remember when i was studying 1 john with my small group in college and thinking... wow, this verse seems out of place. we are talking about love, and what it means to be in Christ, etc... and combating pre-gnostic thinking, etc... so how does this fit. oh it so fits. seems that idols are the bane of our collective experience... and most, if not all sins can be traced therein. guarding my heart means guarding my heart from idols. are these emotions causing me to create idols?
- "charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but the woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised" prov 31:30. the speaker a the retreat this weekend (it was siggy) reminded us that this verse not only applies to women, but also men. i kinda knew that, but to be reminded of it made me apply it to my situation. why am i feeling so much for this person i hardly know? am i falling for his charm and beauty which is deceitful and vain? if that's the case, then i'm digging myself into trouble. and if he truly fears the Lord, then i should not be afraid that he would not like me if my desire is also to pursue the fear of the Lord above all else. hadn't i learned this before? why does it seem i have to learn it over and over and over again?
- "rejoice in the Lord always; again i will say rejoice! let your gentle spirit be known to all men. the Lord is near. be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known to God. and the peace of God, which surpass all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, what ever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." phil 4: 4-9. and this is the practical applications of all of this. i remember also college small group talking about the "whatever" verse in the book "loving God with all your mind." seems the the things i learn i have to keep learning over and over again... it comes back, and in new skin, asking for new applications. these are pretty "well-known" verses, but often we know them separately... but in context and in connection with one another, it is a powerful statment of how not to be anxious, how to attain the peace of God and what guarding your heart in Christ Jesus looks like.
dear Father, your Word is truly amazing. i forget sometimes... i forget sometimes how powerful it is and how it has the power to change hearts and minds. thank you so much for helping me to get my emotions under control a bit... that is totally your grace. and i pray, Lord that as i proceed, that i would have your glory and your will at the forefront of my mind and know that you will bless and honor if it is what you deem good. and i do not want to value anything that you have not deemed good. help me to value what you value and love what you love.
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Wednesday, May 04, 2005
my roommate asked me last night if i had blogged lately. when i said no, she was surprised because of all that has gone on. i think i'm just feeling entirely overwhelmed and don't even know what to write.
left speechless. now that is new.
well, more changes are coming down the pike -- my wonderful roommate will be getting married in october, there is still uncertainty at work, about the future (going back to grad school?), about life in general and of course... the added element of "boy stuff."
i met someone recently who just totally impressed me... and THAT has totally thrown me. i still can't figure out what all is playing into this. yes, he's fun, and interesting and well-adjusted. but i'm not sure where i stand with him and i want to know. all "reason" and "logic" seemed to have been thrown out the window and quite frankly, i really don't like this feeling. i don't want fear to be driving me away from this possibility... but maybe there are other reasons for me to be cautious.
it has been an entirely humbling experience. i used to think i was more rational and in control of my emotions than this. i used to think i was more secure. sensible. but it seems that everything is thrown out the window with him. its kind of an exciting feeling and so i want to "go with it" because its new, but i also think its definitely not wise to do so. i can definitely see that this is high time to apply what i know... to discipline my mind and emotions. wow. i'm just so surprised at myself... at how weak, vulnerable and "not ready" for this i am. i had such a wrong estimation of myself in this regard.
dear reader, please pray for me and with me concerning this. i do want this... i want it a lot. but i want to want God's will more than that. i want to respond rightly in this matter... i want to honor God in my approach.
... dear God, thank you for your patience with me, and how you love me despite my weaknesses and are kind enough to show them to me so that i can change. so Lord... please help me to change and have victory in this area of my life -- for your glory alone.
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left speechless. now that is new.
well, more changes are coming down the pike -- my wonderful roommate will be getting married in october, there is still uncertainty at work, about the future (going back to grad school?), about life in general and of course... the added element of "boy stuff."
i met someone recently who just totally impressed me... and THAT has totally thrown me. i still can't figure out what all is playing into this. yes, he's fun, and interesting and well-adjusted. but i'm not sure where i stand with him and i want to know. all "reason" and "logic" seemed to have been thrown out the window and quite frankly, i really don't like this feeling. i don't want fear to be driving me away from this possibility... but maybe there are other reasons for me to be cautious.
it has been an entirely humbling experience. i used to think i was more rational and in control of my emotions than this. i used to think i was more secure. sensible. but it seems that everything is thrown out the window with him. its kind of an exciting feeling and so i want to "go with it" because its new, but i also think its definitely not wise to do so. i can definitely see that this is high time to apply what i know... to discipline my mind and emotions. wow. i'm just so surprised at myself... at how weak, vulnerable and "not ready" for this i am. i had such a wrong estimation of myself in this regard.
dear reader, please pray for me and with me concerning this. i do want this... i want it a lot. but i want to want God's will more than that. i want to respond rightly in this matter... i want to honor God in my approach.
... dear God, thank you for your patience with me, and how you love me despite my weaknesses and are kind enough to show them to me so that i can change. so Lord... please help me to change and have victory in this area of my life -- for your glory alone.
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