Thursday, December 30, 2004
its been a while, huh? i guess i can use the excuse of being busy and not having time, and while that is true, a lot of it is just that i don't really feel like thinking about things. its easier to get caught up in the whirlwind of someone elses life than to think about where your life is or isn't going. its easy for me to wish for someone to come into my life that will give me a bit more direction. shouldn't God be enough for that function? for that and so much more? i don't know why while i intellectually understand that, i don't emotionally embrace that.
so... why is it that things have been tough? what is the whirlwind to which i am referring? well, my best friend and roommate for the last 7 years is getting married and taking off to a different country. on top of that, most of my peers are already married. there's a lot wrapped up in that that's difficult. its not what you think, though. its not truly the feeling of loneliness that overwhelms me. its the idea of the unknown and the everyday nature of life. with angie around, there are always good times to be had. if any of you know her, you'll know what i mean. she's a dependable laugh. she's dependable in other ways as well. just knowing that there's someone to live with and share rent with and other values with is very nice. with her moving on, it makes me wonder where my next laugh or the other half of the rent check will be coming from. it has made me not want to think about what's to come because the unknown is frightening.
last night, two of my best guy friends came over for dinner and i just had a blast with them. not only did they shower me with love by spending time with me, they served me by helping me move my furniture around and just being there. i enjoy their company a great deal and i'm so thankful for them. i guess i can look to them and to two dear new friends that i've made just in the last year to know that while i may not be married or know of someone that will be committed to me for life, God's grace is sufficent even still. He has surrounded me with very good people in the mean time. i wish i always had this perspective, but while i have it, i better write it down so i can be reminded of it next time i pout about my situation.
... today, i'm thankful that God provides exactly what i need and knows so much better what that looks like than i ever could.
so... why is it that things have been tough? what is the whirlwind to which i am referring? well, my best friend and roommate for the last 7 years is getting married and taking off to a different country. on top of that, most of my peers are already married. there's a lot wrapped up in that that's difficult. its not what you think, though. its not truly the feeling of loneliness that overwhelms me. its the idea of the unknown and the everyday nature of life. with angie around, there are always good times to be had. if any of you know her, you'll know what i mean. she's a dependable laugh. she's dependable in other ways as well. just knowing that there's someone to live with and share rent with and other values with is very nice. with her moving on, it makes me wonder where my next laugh or the other half of the rent check will be coming from. it has made me not want to think about what's to come because the unknown is frightening.
last night, two of my best guy friends came over for dinner and i just had a blast with them. not only did they shower me with love by spending time with me, they served me by helping me move my furniture around and just being there. i enjoy their company a great deal and i'm so thankful for them. i guess i can look to them and to two dear new friends that i've made just in the last year to know that while i may not be married or know of someone that will be committed to me for life, God's grace is sufficent even still. He has surrounded me with very good people in the mean time. i wish i always had this perspective, but while i have it, i better write it down so i can be reminded of it next time i pout about my situation.
... today, i'm thankful that God provides exactly what i need and knows so much better what that looks like than i ever could.
Comments:
and thanks for YOUR comment!
It can be strange. One of the things I'm starting to notice is how your dynamic with your old friend isn't the same if the fiancee is around. hehe
It can be strange. One of the things I'm starting to notice is how your dynamic with your old friend isn't the same if the fiancee is around. hehe
Hmm...I'm not sure why I don't have any e-mail addresses anywhere...
I guess you don't have the e-mail I sent you before? If you do, you've got my main e-mail address...
I'll send you an e-mail at your visceralintuition address so that you can use my e-mail address if you'd like.
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I guess you don't have the e-mail I sent you before? If you do, you've got my main e-mail address...
I'll send you an e-mail at your visceralintuition address so that you can use my e-mail address if you'd like.
