Monday, May 10, 2004
funny how a few days can change so much in mood... funny how people can have such a profound impact on our psyche.
is honesty in feelings REALLY a good thing? right now, i'm pissed... fuming because i'm being honest with my emotions towards someone who i really felt like has ruined a large part of my life (as of late) and who is so different from me that i'm having a hard time giving her grace. because her character and personality is so diametrically opposed to mine, i feel as if its a personal afront on who i am when i see other people caring for her or responding to her positively. i know that its wrong... unfortunately, that is nevertheless how i'm feeling.
i remember hearing a series on jonah about how he didn't want God to be merciful and gracious... and in certain situations, i wished that God would do something on my behalf... but when they are fellow Christians, i know that God is gracious, and He's not going to deal with them the way i would want Him to. its so wrong of me to want and expect that grace for myself but is not ok with God extending that to others.
anger is a funny thing... i never used to be an angry person at all. now that i'm trying to be honest with my feelings, all of this crap is coming to the surface, and wow... that's a lot of crap to deal with. mmm... maybe honesty isn't such a good thing afterall?
maybe i just need to go get some vanilla ice cream... now that's a thought...
i'm thankful for emotions... even though they can be overwhelming at times, i'm thankful because it makes me feel alive...
is honesty in feelings REALLY a good thing? right now, i'm pissed... fuming because i'm being honest with my emotions towards someone who i really felt like has ruined a large part of my life (as of late) and who is so different from me that i'm having a hard time giving her grace. because her character and personality is so diametrically opposed to mine, i feel as if its a personal afront on who i am when i see other people caring for her or responding to her positively. i know that its wrong... unfortunately, that is nevertheless how i'm feeling.
i remember hearing a series on jonah about how he didn't want God to be merciful and gracious... and in certain situations, i wished that God would do something on my behalf... but when they are fellow Christians, i know that God is gracious, and He's not going to deal with them the way i would want Him to. its so wrong of me to want and expect that grace for myself but is not ok with God extending that to others.
anger is a funny thing... i never used to be an angry person at all. now that i'm trying to be honest with my feelings, all of this crap is coming to the surface, and wow... that's a lot of crap to deal with. mmm... maybe honesty isn't such a good thing afterall?
maybe i just need to go get some vanilla ice cream... now that's a thought...
i'm thankful for emotions... even though they can be overwhelming at times, i'm thankful because it makes me feel alive...
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