Tuesday, March 16, 2004
is love something you can fall into and out of? if it is, can you still call it love?
i'm really divided in terms of my thoughts on that one. as someone who understands "love" and how to love, but never having really been "in love," the distinction really alludes me. my thoughts are quite dicotomous when it comes to this. at heart, i'm a hopeless romantic. in principle, i don't want my views of love and romance to be so affected by society and culture's configuration of it. and honestly, i don't know how much my view are, in fact, influenced by it because some things you just "get." instinctively. viscerally.
ever since i've been challenged to think biblically in college, i've want my thoughts in this area to follow suit. biblically, i see teachings about love as a choice. choice based on controls of your own reaction and choice based on who you decide to direct your actions towards. some of this i came up with... some what i've heard taught while i was in college. i've wanted to believe it.
life somehow has a way of getting a hold of your idealism and shaking it up. maybe i'm too easily affected by people, but what i've seen around me -- from friendships to relationships, attractions, brokenness, etc. -- has altered my views on it a bit. deep down inside, i still wanted to believe what i believed, but maybe i was making subtle adjustments to cater to others (guys who may not have thought this through who i may still want interested in me) because of the affect society has had upon them. right or wrong, subconsciously, i've compromised and made provisions in how i thought and acted accordingly in my choices.
my roommate recently talked with an older pastor about this whole notion of relationships, and he said that he doesn't believe that romance and attraction is necessary for marriage. love is an action; its a command; its a choice. when she told me this, i was shocked. that's what i've ALWAYS thought, i told her. but from different situations, i had to revise my thoughts. even from watching her relationships i've learned some. i guess coming from an idealistic girl who's never been in a real relationship, my ideas come off less credible than a married pastor with life and ministry experience.
so now, i guess i'm back at square one with all of this. not quite sure WHAT i think anymore. maybe its both/and? if so, what does that balance look like? mmm....
i'm really divided in terms of my thoughts on that one. as someone who understands "love" and how to love, but never having really been "in love," the distinction really alludes me. my thoughts are quite dicotomous when it comes to this. at heart, i'm a hopeless romantic. in principle, i don't want my views of love and romance to be so affected by society and culture's configuration of it. and honestly, i don't know how much my view are, in fact, influenced by it because some things you just "get." instinctively. viscerally.
ever since i've been challenged to think biblically in college, i've want my thoughts in this area to follow suit. biblically, i see teachings about love as a choice. choice based on controls of your own reaction and choice based on who you decide to direct your actions towards. some of this i came up with... some what i've heard taught while i was in college. i've wanted to believe it.
life somehow has a way of getting a hold of your idealism and shaking it up. maybe i'm too easily affected by people, but what i've seen around me -- from friendships to relationships, attractions, brokenness, etc. -- has altered my views on it a bit. deep down inside, i still wanted to believe what i believed, but maybe i was making subtle adjustments to cater to others (guys who may not have thought this through who i may still want interested in me) because of the affect society has had upon them. right or wrong, subconsciously, i've compromised and made provisions in how i thought and acted accordingly in my choices.
my roommate recently talked with an older pastor about this whole notion of relationships, and he said that he doesn't believe that romance and attraction is necessary for marriage. love is an action; its a command; its a choice. when she told me this, i was shocked. that's what i've ALWAYS thought, i told her. but from different situations, i had to revise my thoughts. even from watching her relationships i've learned some. i guess coming from an idealistic girl who's never been in a real relationship, my ideas come off less credible than a married pastor with life and ministry experience.
so now, i guess i'm back at square one with all of this. not quite sure WHAT i think anymore. maybe its both/and? if so, what does that balance look like? mmm....
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